the Jesus thing to do?
A friend of mine asked me if I remembered his uncle Johnie, "yip why?" was
my reply, the following story unfolded (I have changed names to keep it in
the family):
Well 2 months ago a young lady called his house looking for him, he was'nt
in so the lady said she would call again. She did and after confirming his
identity, gave him the following news "My name is Jane, I'm 34 years old and
I'm your daughter. (the youngest child with his wife is 42 years old).....
It appears that Johnie had jumped the fence in his 30's and had never known
that there had been such consequences...
The lady whom he had been unfaithful with had decided to put the result of
their affair up for adoption to a childless couple. Jane had only recently
found out about her absent biological parents and had tracked down her
biological mother and through her she now had traced her biological father,
whom she wanted to meet.
You could imagine the consternation in the family initially, but it appears
everyone has welcomed the new sister into the family etc, Johnie's wife is
still a little peed-off at him but it looks like the 50 year old marraige
will survive the revelation, 35 years after the fact.
What really stays with me though, is the decisions taken by Jane's mom 34
years ago, I believe she acted in the most loving way possible to all
concerned.
Johnies family remained intact, Jane grew up in a loving family etc
The years between the action and the consequences mellowed the impact to say
the least...
I think Jane's mom did the most loving she could have done in the
circumstances. I think she did the the Jesus thing, sacrificing her own
interests in the best interest of all concerned
What do you think?
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Ethics?
Wow... this stuff really happens? I thought it only came true in "Days of our lives" and other stuff like that! haha...
Etienne, do you think what Jane's mom did all those years back was the right thing to do? Do you not think she should've maybe conversed with the father over the issue?
Honestly... this is quite a interesting question... Should they have kept the cat in the bag as they did all along and only let it out now, thus causing the least amount of damage (so it seems [you think she thought like that?]) or should they have bit the bullet for all that it's worth and have taken the "punch like a man?" They did wrong and sooner or later they would need to pay the price...
I'm really curious, did she do wrong? I'm in no way trying to judge her, this story has just raised some questions for me to ponder over for a while... like for example, when should I "keep the love" and when should let it all out and risk the hurt of others all around... Hmmm.... maybe I'm leaning towards a "confession of sins" discussion... Did she (the mom) sin?
I suppose it all boils down to ethics really......
Ethics maybe,,, love?
Hi Jason,
Well, one could ponder on the issue from various veiw points, what motivated Jane's mom I don't know.
Let's look at confession 35 years back, firstly a family would have been broken up. (I'm pretty sure on that one) So a family of 4 developing inocent children would have borne the consequences of their dad's sin, is that what you mean by take the punch like a man?
Johny was left unaware of the fruits of his loins for the duration - how would it have helped the situation by his knowing about the child concieved in sin?
I believe the mother paid a heavy price - ask any woman who has given up a healthy child to adoption.
Sacrifising her own potential happiness could also be argued in terms that she would never get the father of her child as a partner, which she could have orchestrated by revelation and confession!
When confession will cause pain and hurt to inocents, is it perhaps, not better that the perpetrator carry that burden themselves? I think that's the loving thing...(opinion)
A situation like this seems to raise more questions than answers....
GB
I'm lost and confused....
Could love have motivated her? Love... it makes us do the wierd and wonderful we thought we'd never do. We never really understand do we? I mean take a look at the death of Jesus... I'm still at a loss for words. I really can't imagine what the father must have been thinking all along. Giving up his son... No one knew except for a few... all because he loved.... fascitinating thing...
There's no doubt that the family would have had a different lifestyle... Could it however have been a better lifestyle for her (Jane)? Would she have perhaps achieved more in her 35 years? Would the family have perhaps all grown as well?
Another question I want raise is, "What about the father?" He, like Jane, has lost out on so much as well. Sure life would've been tough for all, but would it not have been better to confess? He would've been apart of her 35 years...
"When confession will cause pain and hurt to inocents, is it perhaps, not better that the perpetrator carry that burden themselves?"
I love this question... why? Because I have absolutely no idea how to answer it.... How does one in this situation confess and go about without hurting others. Why should we still have to hold the guilt ourselves if there is a second party involved. Why should they be allowed to live a life of peace and joy and I can't? The paradox of God never siezes to amaze... Just when I think I'm getting somewhere I'm hit with another question which seems to destroy the other info I've built up.
"I think that's the loving thing..."
I agree... but is it the right thing to do???
Etienne, I loved the way you ended your previous comment so I'll end with it to as I feel it sums up exactly how I feel...
"A situation like this seems to raise more questions than answers...."
Keep it real,
J
perhaps the confessional in the orthodox churches???
As for the loving thing I'd back any woman in Jane's mom's place to do the same...But that's me
I like your description of a broken home - different lifestyle..sooooo pc
As for Jane it appears she grew up in a loving home, got married and has 2 children of her own (in that order).
As for johny he's catching up on her life now, (between beatings from his wife, I suspect), had the truth not been revealled he would have carried on regardless.
Perhaps sharing such burdens in a confessional type situation might be the way to carry them?
and once more..
"A situation like this seems to raise more questions than answers...."
Etienneb
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